A couple of weeks ago I had my nose pierced. It has been a bit swollen lately and today the ring fell out entirely. I tried unsuccessfully to put it back in for over an hour, but to no avail. The good news is I am developing an immunity to blood and light injuries. The first time I tried to put the ring back in I almost passed out, but that didn't happen when I tried again later. I have yet to decide whether or not I will re-pierce - I did like it, but I don't want to risk infection. It also made my nose itch terribly, and I like being able to scratch without wincing (of course I'm sure after it healed it wouldn't be painful). At any rate, I need to at least let my nose heal completely...it's going to be a month or so, at least.
Today I realized that every person I have ever dated is in a relationship. I have been reminding myself that being single right now is good for me, that I am getting a lot accomplished by not having to worry about a relationship, that it would just be a distraction and it would get in the way. All of these things are true, but it still doesn't completely eradicate the twinge of loneliness that invariably creeps around when I am with others who are dating. It's especially depressing when I see people I used to care about romantically in happy relationships. It's easy to tell myself that I need to be content without all of these peripheral things, but that doesn't change the fact that it's mind-numbingly difficult to rejoice when my friends meet someone they care about or that I am occasionally jealous. It is entirely true that none of the people I have dated would have been individuals with whom I could have created a sustainable lifestyle. There is no specific person to miss or pine for. I'm just kind of lonely.
I am trying to keep myself busy. Sometimes I think I am spread too thinly. Rarely a day passes in which I don't have some sort of meeting or function to attend after classes end; this semester has also been the most challenging that I have had thus far as a college student. It's not necessarily that the work is terribly difficult as much as it is that there is always something to be done. Between study abroad and my language requirements for Global Studies I feel like maybe the things that I love or that generate excitement in my life are becoming tedious. That's the last thing I want...at some point this week I am going to go talk to my advisor about course schedules and perhaps modifying my academic focus areas.
Reading over this entry makes me realize that I probably sound a wee bit down in the dumps. Momentarily, perhaps. I am having a good school year, though. There are lots of wonderful, lovely things going on in my life right now. I promise that the next time I post it will be less disjointed and more uplifting. It is nice to say what's really on your mind, though.
I should try to get some rest. I don't have class until 3:00 tomorrow, but I do have a lab report to write and some errands to run.
Blessings,
Jordan
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