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Monday, February 21, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Abuse

I HAVE TOO MANY LIFE DECISIONS TO MAKE.

I am avoiding facing this fact. I am avoiding making decisions. I am avoiding thinking.

Thank you, Zoloft. I know I don't say this often enough (or ever), but I appreciate your patience with the gymnastic spasms of my brain. Perhaps, if taken in great enough quantities, you will enable me to avoid thinking about what it's like to be a grown-up.

Hopefully forever.

I have a sexy new computer that mom and dad helped me buy for Christmas. It is a Mac. I feel like someone designed this computer with me in mind...iCal? StickieNotes? NOTEBOOK WORD DOC FORMAT? I can do ANYTHING on this computer. Seriously. It's awesome.

Allow me to pause for a moment of sacrilege: this computer is so perfect for me it's almost it was created in the image of my brain. LIKE I WAS CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD.

Unfortunately my late obsession with said computer means that I am developing carpal-tunnel like symptoms in my wrists. They ache every time I type (admission of stupidity: I recognize I am an agent of problem perpetuation. Blogger.com can also be indicted). I can't help it. This Mac means THAT THE WORLD IS AT MY FINGERTIPS.It's like owning the best dog ever - it's so faithful and  eager to please me. I think it must be generating all of these surprises (like multi-screen) just for my personal delight.How can I deny that which fulfills my personal needs so readily?

Answer: I don't. I allow it to ravage me, all thanks from the tendons in my wrist aside. My hand could literally scream at me in agony and I would still muster the courage to use the nifty, two-finger scroll. bbc.co.uk? Boom. Scroll, top news, done. Facebook? Oh hello, Jordan. You have five new messages. All of them will load for you in a timely manner. Appstate.edu? Oh, you want to download something homework related? Allow me to save that for you in a convenient file that you will always be able to find.

Yes. Awesome. Delicious.

Yes. Awesome. I did have coffee a couple of hours ago. A large, actually. I can feel it zip zip zipping around my brain and inside my fingers.

I am going to go watch J. Biz play intramural basketball. He wanted me to be the assistant coach with a fellow resident. I said no - she cussed the ref out last time they had a game and they got a technical. I am afraid of her. I am going to sit by the court and clap politely.

If he makes  a basket he better point at me a blow me a kiss. He knows this. If he wants to be an NBA star someday, I need to be groomed to play the part as well.