Disappointment.

Disappointment is an awful feeling.

Like really, really, really awful.

I have felt so much of it the last couple of weeks and I don't like it because I hate self-pity and I don't like thinking about myself all of the time.

I think about being someone who experiences disappointment on a daily basis and I can see why its so easy to slip into bad habits and relationships and make poor decisions. Especially if you feel this way all of the time, and especially if you don't believe in anything bigger.

I like learning about other people and how they feel but I like textbooks better than life-lessons. But you know what they say about experience being the best teacher.

I think my blog entries for the past week have all been kind of depressing and I'm sorry. I don't want to be a downer.

I am debating whether or not to go climbing after class today. I have an interview for Appolcorps at 6:45 and I am going to Younglife at 8:30 so I know I can't go to tonight. But if I go this afternoon I think I might be by myself. And when you are by yourself and look like an idiot it's more embarrassing than looking like an idiot with someone else.

But I need some stress relief and I don't really feel like running today.

So maybe I'll climb. Or at least take a change of clothes to class in case I decide that's what I want to do.

Courtney helped me find some really really discounted climbing shoes online and Dad is going to help me get them. I am so so so excited for spring break. It will be super nice to get away for a while and chill out.

I need to clean my room. It has gotten pretty messy since I came back Sunday evening.

Leaving for class early so I can get a snack. And maybe be on time for once to this class I so desperately hate.