Hunger.

I need to eat something but finding the motivation to get up and make something and then wash dishes is difficult.

I haven't had any real food since Saturday afternoon.

But I have had like six muffins. And two packages of cookies. And some White Cheddar Cheezits. So I'm not starving, exactly. But I am pretty hungry.

I wonder what it would feel like to be hungry all of the time? I know a lot of people are. Is the same kind of hunger pain I feel the same kind of hunger pain they feel?

That might sound like a dumb question, but I really do wonder about the answer. I could fast for a few days but the whole time I would know I had the option of eating whenever I wanted to.

So is the physical manifestation of voluntary hunger the same as involuntary? Or does the psychology behind knowing you don't have anything to eat make a difference? I don't know.

Part of me is glad about this and part of me is bothered. I'm really fortunate because I have never had to worry about whether or not I would be able to eat.

But even if its hard sometimes I really do want to be able to identify with where other people hurt. And being hungry isn't something I feel I can fully understand because I always have access to food.

But this is definitely a glass-half-full situation.

Last semester I read a book about the Lost Boys of Sudan in my First Year Seminar class. And about how they starved across the desert, and so many of them died.

Sometimes when I am in the cafeteria at ASU I imagine that I am one of them and try to feel what they would feel if they saw all of the food we have. And not just that we have enough, but that we are allowed to be selective.

It's really overwhelming and I think I am being naive. I don't want to make hungry people into "others". They are, after all, still as human as I am. And we share a lot in common. They are just hungry. And probably scared.

But I get scared too, of different things. And I think each of these things we are afraid of carry their own pain. Is this even making sense right now? Am I rambling? I think I am, a bit.

Probably a lot, actually.

Anyway, the point is. I want to open myself and soak everything in and even if I never experience everything because I can't I want to know it and feel it and appreciate hunger and thirst and want and plenty and love.

It's almost time for class.

I think I need to eat a sandwich.